Tag Archive | support

Femoral Rotations November

Yeah, the weekly thing just isn’t going to work. Kids are in school activities, Madison still has physical therapy 2-3 days per week and I’m still having to get my work done.

We spent the last couple of weeks getting fencing fixed so the horses had access to the barn and we had hay delivered. We still don’t have firewood in for winter but the truck broke down and was pretty costly to fix it. Will need to sell it before getting the half a cow in the freezer and wood in for winter.

Tomorrow marks the long awaited day for meeting with the ortho specialist coming in from Grand Junction. He will be the one who basically decides if he can make something for her to correct the rotation in her ankles. All of my hopes and prayers are on his saying yes. I’m trying to have faith that this doctor is as open and receptive as Dr. Rhodes has been.

There’s been lots of struggles and ups and downs. She has a popping in her bad hip but we aren’t having X-rays done at this time. Dr. Rhodes believes it’s an IT band that is rubbing and slipping off of her hip bone caused by the screw. She has to wait until May before they can remove the screws and the rods so basically she just has to deal with the pain. That’s super frustrating for me because it happens whenever she walks, goes up stairs, sleeps, moves, anything. She was finally released to ride her horse and we joyfully went out to our ponies and rode bareback; best way to get back in shape and core built up. I recorded it, of course, bawling with how wonderful it was to see her back on her beloved Chewbacca (the video is on my Facebook page) only to have the joy come to an abrupt end. The way her hips sit on her horse causes the screw to push into her hip bone which causes pain. A goal she had worked so hard for became something she can’t enjoy doing. We are going to try different saddles and hope that with the adjustment of her hips and the way she’s sitting, it will allow her to ride without so much pain.

New things that we found out. Sitting cross-legged is actually comfortable for her now. I was mortified and instantly pissed off when I found out that some elementary teachers tried to FORCE her to sit “criss-cross-applesauce” despite her saying it didn’t feel good. PEOPLE, FRIGGING LISTEN TO THE KIDS WHEN THEY SAY SOMETHING DOESN’T FEEL GOOD. I’m SO sick of adults MICRO-MANAGING KIDS! If they are sitting in a W shape and it’s comfortable to them then let them do it! YOU are NOT a doctor and there could be something majorly wrong! The more I’m researching this deformity the more common I’m finding it is. SO many kids having to go through this bullshit. Venting over.

I will say I’m grateful for all of my friends and support. For those of you going through this, hang in there. I know exactly how exhausting it is. Everyone on the outside looking in sees your child getting better, doing better but they aren’t there 24/7 when the swelling or the pain hits. The frustration your child feels when they can’t do something they used to do. New thing we just found out about. You know how Madison literally had to learn how to walk again? Her brain had to learn how to communicate with her new thigh muscles? Well guess what, it has to relearn how to run too. You would think the brain would click and go, “Oh yeah, I just opened up the communication lines to these new muscles to walk so it must be the same line for running.” NOPE. 5 months after surgery and she’s just now starting to learn to run. Her muscles on the outside of her thighs are trying to fire, not her new front thigh muscles. Can you imagine how frustrating that is? And all I can do is hold her when she cries.

So please hang in there. Be gentle with yourself, be super gentle with your kiddo. Lots of love, forgiveness and patience is needed. Love you all and peace out till the next time.

Femoral Rotations continued

Yep, I missed a week. Actually, I missed a couple of weeks. I felt guilty at first, for all of those who read this, that I was letting you down but I had to take some time for me. I didn’t get on social media or meet with any friends. I really needed to reassess my life because I was ready to end it. Yep, I said it. I was ready for the big D.

Friends, let me tell you, when you are down, vulnerable and exposed, there are souls who will come into your life disguised as kind people who want to be your friend and then take you to the cleaners. I must have sucker written across my forehead because I got scammed a couple times and the timing couldn’t be worse. So I needed time to lick my wounds and heal my soul. It’s still not healed but I feel stronger than I have…until today.

Madison’s four month post-op was today so she had to have x-rays done two weeks ago for her surgeon to see. Of course I took pictures and I’ll admit, I didn’t think they looked very good. I showed them to her physical therapist who agreed, they just didn’t seem right. Large lumps and stalactite looking bone formations surrounded her surgical breaks but nothing was filling in at the actual breaks. In another image, it appeared she had a fracture going through the center of some of her new bone growth. Again, not good. So the imagination takes over and you begin to wonder if she is going to have to have surgeries again, or if her bones never heal, would she have to endure grafts? It goes on and on. These were all questions we wanted her surgeon to answer. The least of our concerns were how her ankles turned in when she walked. Worry and stress about the x-rays were on the forefront of our hearts and minds. The appointment today couldn’t come fast enough.

So now we are an hour past her appointment and I have a migraine from the information I’ve received. We were completely wrong about her x-rays, which is WONDERFUL news. Everything is healing perfectly and she is on track. She was even released to start riding her horse again. Best news ever! Then he addressed the ankles. With the extreme inversion, we need to start with orthotics to see if that straightens her ankle/knee and hip alignment. If it doesn’t, she would need to go in for surgeries that are more extensive and complicated than the surgeries she just endured. He said they are way worse than her femoral rotations and he will do them if she needs them…but only as a last resort.

I’d like to end this on a happy note but today I can’t. I’m kind of over everything, if that makes sense. I’m over scammers, I’m over fake friends, I’m over doctors who should listen to parents when they bring their child in YEAR AFTER YEAR saying that something is wrong with their child when they walk/sit. I know I’m the only one who can get out of this funk and I will. I have two incredible girls who deserve to have the best mother possible. I just need to take the time for ME (away from the family so they don’t see my tears) and figure out HOW to get my big girl panties back up and be the Momma Bear next to my little warrior. Actually both of them because my Ashlie girl has been right there alongside every step of the way. What amazing girls I have.

So if your child is walking/sitting wrong and the doctor says it’s normal or they will “grow out of it” or they are just flexible or “double-jointed”, do you and your child a favor. Go get another opinion. Preferably from a professional from Children’s Hospital because the home-town docs I’ve experienced have too much of a God complex to give parents any credit. Take care of you and your family first, screw their feelings because they sure don’t care after the fact of what you and your child will have to endure.

Peace out and many blessings until the next time.