Tag Archive | raeanne

Why I have been MIA part II

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As you can imagine after reading my last post, I have been quite busy. Fighting hormones and having a subsequent hysterectomy is hard enough but I’m like all of the other mothers, wives and career women out there, unless it’s bleeding or broken I’ll keep adding stuff to my plate. In addition to moving to our 35 acres and bringing the horses home, I knew that we were going to need the proper equipment for us to function this winter. We live on the western side of the Colorado Rockies so that means we usually get A LOT of snow. I knew that a front wheel drive minivan and a front wheel drive VW Passat were not going to dig us out if we got hit so we knew we had to get a truck. Our problem? With all of the surgeries, doctor’s appointments, moving, getting hay, etc. our savings account was NOT in the black. Putting the word out to my friends that I was looking for a cheap truck a friend of mine text me that a friend of his had a four-wheel drive truck for $250, just needed a front brake caliper. I’m mechanical, I can handle some light work so after walking around it decided to buy it.

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In my excitement that I got such a great deal, I didn’t ask how long it had been sitting, which turned out to be a year. A vehicle that sits for a year means that all of the gaskets, rubber parts have dried out and your vehicle will start leaking vital fluids. So after this baby was running for a while, puddles began to form on the ground underneath it. In addition to the seals and gaskets I found out that it didn’t need the brake caliper replaced because it was missing, it needed replaced because the person seized up the brake on that side, destroying the entire braking system in the front. But that’s still ok, I can do that and I have the tools to do that. I started taking the front end apart and to my terror found out that in order to replace the brake rotors (big flat metal plates that your brakes grip onto to stop your vehicle) I had to remove the hubs (parts/gears that make a four-wheel drive a four-wheel drive) I have NEVER removed hubs or repacked wheel bearings so this scared the bejimminies out of me. What if I did it wrong? Thank heavens for cameras in cell phones because I took pictures of every step of disassembly and I referred back to it often!

All in all I was able to replace the entire front brake system, resealed the critical leaking gaskets and have our $250 truck running for about $500 including the purchase price. I have taken it four-wheeling so I know it’s going to work great in the snow and it is now at the welder’s to get the snow plow put on. It was a lot of work but I have to tell you that I am super proud that I stuck with it, even when I was scared and doubted myself and now when I fire up that truck a wonderful sense of accomplishment flows through me. I did it myself and saved us thousands of dollars that it would have cost had we taken it to the dealership. We have a very functional, working truck for winter. Now to start figuring out how to do the body work!

Never doubt yourself. It’s ok to be scared and even ask for help but if you’re determined and want to do something new, just persevere! Remember, life is meant to be fun; enjoy the journey!

Crying Over Cut Broccoli

As most of my friends and fans know, my life has been a whirlwind of changes and challenges this past year. Between moving, leaving my job over health issues, becoming a bestselling author and trying to keep up with my family, I have been a little overwhelmed. No one wondered or thought it strange when my Miss Suzie Sunshine personality became cloudy and dark. We all chalked it up to stress and too much on my plate. I went in for a physical in March because the exhaustion and irritability were becoming more prominent but after a complete exam and blood work. That was when they found the lump in my breast and a mass in my uterus.

I went to a specialist in Denver for my breast and my family and I cried in relief when the tests came back negative for breast cancer. The biopsy from the mass in my uterus also came back negative and it was believed that I was just under a lot of stress and pressure. Everyone said that the explanation made sense, everyone but me. I just didn’t buy it. I wasn’t stressed or under pressure. I’ve been there. Being a service manager at a large automotive dealership, working 16-18 hours a day, dealing with people who are angry that their car broke down or how much it costs to fix it, that’s stress and under pressure. I was playing on 35 acres, planting my garden, playing with my horses and children, being a wife and mother. I was in heaven! It slapped me up along side of the head that something major was wrong when twice I behaved in a way I never had before. The first, I yelled at my beautiful daughters just because they were playing in the mud, making mud pies and castles. Normally I would be out there joining them but this day I hollered because of how dirty they were. I’ll never forget their shocked and pained faces; it breaks my heart every time. The second occurrence was when I was in my garden cutting broccoli to steam for supper and I began crying, apologizing to the broccoli for killing it! How insane is that??? I knew then that I had to get help.

I found a specialist who deals with female hormones in Steamboat and made an appointment to see her. After describing my symptoms she asked if we could do a physical and also an ultrasound of my uterus. I thought that was a little unusual but agreed. We went into another room and she turned the monitor around so that I could see what she could. In vibrant blue and red colors, I looked like I was pregnant with forty little alien babies! I had so many polyps, masses and disease that my body basically thought I was pregnant and was pumping so many hormones into my body that it was completely messing me up. It was recommended that I have a hysterectomy as soon as possible, leaving my ovaries for natural, and normal hormone production. Feeling so relieved that I wasn’t going insane and that there was a reason for my actions, I quickly agreed.

I am now almost four weeks post surgery and yes, sometimes I still cry but it is because of the joy and happiness that I feel over feeling me again! The biopsies that came back on my uterus were all benign which is a reason for joy but also my inner joy and happiness is back. My girls tell me all of the time that they are glad that their fun mommy is back and I laugh so much more. My husband is thrilled that he has his loving wife back and the irrational, hormonal one is gone. And I feel fantastic! I have more energy, don’t sleep as much and also excited that I will be able to get back on my work out routine and not have it disrupted a week out of every month.

I am writing this article because I want to encourage any woman who has noticed a change in personality or stress or just feels off to go get checked out. And if the first doc says there is nothing wrong, get a second opinion! That’s what I did and I’m so glad I listened to myself and my body. And don’t be embarrassed to ask the questions, regardless of what you find out. I asked all of the “embarrassing” questions, like would I still enjoy sex? Could I still have an orgasm? Would it hurt or feel different? Would this cause any problems with my bladder? If you don’t know of anyone who has gone through a hysterectomy or aren’t comfortable talking to them, HysterSisters is an amazing support system that allows members to be completely anonymous. If you’re still uncomfortable with that feel free to email me. I’m not a doctor, have no medical experience but I do have experience as a woman, both hormonally insane and sane! My email is raeannehadley@hotmail.com. Granted, I still cry. I cry at the blessed life that I have, the beautiful and amazing family that I have but I don’t cry over cut broccoli anymore.

Life’s meant to be fun; enjoy the journey!

To think or not to think?

New Year’s resolutions are starting to lose their appeal and the holiday for love is coming up. We are caught up in the stresses of filing tax returns, bills coming in from Christmas shopping and what to do for that special someone in our life on Valentine’s Day. Or, if you are not in a relationship currently, how to avoid all the mushy affectionate couples that tend to go a little overboard with their public affection. In my last blog, I hoped that I brought to your attention the most important person in your life and hopefully you will give them their just deserves. You won’t regret it. In this blog, I’d like to hear a goal, desire, fantasy, dream that you’ve had or set for yourself this year, no matter how far-fetched it may feel to you.

I honestly believe that the things you focus on the most are the things that you will bring more of in your life. You’re emotions regarding those things will also have an effect on what transpires in your life. Being a fairly positive person, I tend to focus on the blessings that I have, my healthy, beautiful, intelligent children, my loving husband, the house we are able to live in, the cars we drive, the food on our table. It’s because of my focus on the positive that I believe so many miracles have appeared in my life recently. But I am human and my worry about finances tainted my focus on the positive and that’s exactly what I brought in, more worry and fear. For the first time in our married life, we had the first month of no income, no paychecks. Let me tell you, it has been a hard lesson but a lesson it is. A week ago I began refocusing on the positive things in my life and lo and behold, things started turning around again. It was a hard lesson and a scary one but also one I won’t ever forget. I think the hardest lessons in our lives are the ones that tend to stay in the fore front of our memory.

So now I am focusing on being a best-selling author, a nurturing mother, a fantastic wife, a wonderful friend and an amazing author. It not only feels better emotionally but I’m able to reap the rewards of focusing on the positive. So now I invite you to tell me about the blessings in your life, the goals you have set, the dreams you have. And always remember, life is meant to be fun, enjoy the journey!

Spoil yourself for Valentine’s

I’ve spent many years alone on Valentine’s Day and the past nine with the love of my life. I am truly grateful and feel blessed that I have my husband but I have to be honest, it took me 32 years to find him so I’ve lived through this holiday more often alone than with that “special someone”. It’s an obvious fact that this is a holiday that celebrates couples and partners but what if you were to tweak that perspective just a little? What if you were to see it as a celebration of your life, of how much you love and appreciate yourself?

You are the only person in this world that can take care of and nurture yourself the way that you need. No one else can possibly know your most inner thoughts, pain, joy, hopes and dreams, that’s privy to only you. So who better to treat and pamper you than you? And talk about the best time to do it! Chocolates are everywhere and it’s socially acceptable to indulge on them! Flowers are on sale, being delivered and smell divine! Why not send yourself a beautiful bouquet and have it signed, “A secret admirer”? It’s really nobody else’s business who your admirer is and you honestly should admire yourself. After all, there is only one of you in the entire world, isn’t that amazing? Take yourself out for a fabulous dinner and a movie afterwards. If you don’t like to do that by yourself, why not get a bunch of girlfriends together and have a girls’ night. Or order in, jump in your pj’s, grab a good book and a chilled bottle of wine and curl up on the couch. Tune out the rest of the world and just pamper yourself. This is the exact way I plan on spending my Valentine’s. Steve has to work that night and so once I put my children down, I’m grabbing my Kindle and indulging in a good story that I’ve been dying to read.

Running out of books? May I be so bold as to suggest one of mine? My newest book, Love’s Everlasting Song, I wrote because not once but in two different relationships I’ve caught the person cheating. The pain is so excruciating and so devestating. But I know that with every painful experience something wonderful comes from it and that is how I wrote this story. It is a classic, tender, romantic story that has it’s painful moments, as does life, but also offers hope and happy endings. And it’s a story that you wouldn’t be embarrassed to turn the page on! So if you want that sweet romance for your Valentine’s celebration, please check out my novel, Love’s Everlasting Song, on Amazon and show you how much you love yourself this holiday!

http://www.amazon.com/Loves-Everlasting-Song-ebook/dp/B006L74IW2/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1327783486&sr=8-7