Tag Archive | love

Another Era Coming to an End

The days are getting shorter, the end of another decade is less than 25 days away and time doesn’t stand still, for anyone. If you want to survive and thrive, you have to be open and embrace change. I have to say that I’m thankful for my girls to help me do that.

Blogging is on the way out and vlogging is in. I won’t lie, it is a lot easier to vlog than it is to blog. At least for this ADHD momma of two teenagers. We are always on the go, always doing something and when I sit down at my laptop it’s to get a novel or a story done. So I’ve gone to the dark-side. I now have TikTok (so stinking addictive, won’t lie) Instagram and yep, I even have my own YouTube account. I only have two subscribers at the moment but it’s so much easier to catch everyone up while I’m riding one of my ponies than to sit at my computer. Multi-tasking my Lovelies, multi-tasking.

So while I’ll still be keeping everyone updated on the femoral rotations, the physical therapy, the surgeries (yep, she has more planned) I’ll just be doing it from YouTube. I’ll also be doing some other fun things like promoting my books because if I can’t toot my own horn, who will? Being a horse owner of 4.25 horses and also so many other life issues that I think we ALL need to talk about and express in a safe environment.

I’m not saying goodbye here because let’s face it, life changes so fast and we could be reviving the typed word again, so it’s just so long for now and hopefully I’ll see you on YouTube! My channel is https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC91IfIMt4acbgduOpdObjmA?view_as=subscriber

Femoral Rotations continued

Yep, I missed a week. Actually, I missed a couple of weeks. I felt guilty at first, for all of those who read this, that I was letting you down but I had to take some time for me. I didn’t get on social media or meet with any friends. I really needed to reassess my life because I was ready to end it. Yep, I said it. I was ready for the big D.

Friends, let me tell you, when you are down, vulnerable and exposed, there are souls who will come into your life disguised as kind people who want to be your friend and then take you to the cleaners. I must have sucker written across my forehead because I got scammed a couple times and the timing couldn’t be worse. So I needed time to lick my wounds and heal my soul. It’s still not healed but I feel stronger than I have…until today.

Madison’s four month post-op was today so she had to have x-rays done two weeks ago for her surgeon to see. Of course I took pictures and I’ll admit, I didn’t think they looked very good. I showed them to her physical therapist who agreed, they just didn’t seem right. Large lumps and stalactite looking bone formations surrounded her surgical breaks but nothing was filling in at the actual breaks. In another image, it appeared she had a fracture going through the center of some of her new bone growth. Again, not good. So the imagination takes over and you begin to wonder if she is going to have to have surgeries again, or if her bones never heal, would she have to endure grafts? It goes on and on. These were all questions we wanted her surgeon to answer. The least of our concerns were how her ankles turned in when she walked. Worry and stress about the x-rays were on the forefront of our hearts and minds. The appointment today couldn’t come fast enough.

So now we are an hour past her appointment and I have a migraine from the information I’ve received. We were completely wrong about her x-rays, which is WONDERFUL news. Everything is healing perfectly and she is on track. She was even released to start riding her horse again. Best news ever! Then he addressed the ankles. With the extreme inversion, we need to start with orthotics to see if that straightens her ankle/knee and hip alignment. If it doesn’t, she would need to go in for surgeries that are more extensive and complicated than the surgeries she just endured. He said they are way worse than her femoral rotations and he will do them if she needs them…but only as a last resort.

I’d like to end this on a happy note but today I can’t. I’m kind of over everything, if that makes sense. I’m over scammers, I’m over fake friends, I’m over doctors who should listen to parents when they bring their child in YEAR AFTER YEAR saying that something is wrong with their child when they walk/sit. I know I’m the only one who can get out of this funk and I will. I have two incredible girls who deserve to have the best mother possible. I just need to take the time for ME (away from the family so they don’t see my tears) and figure out HOW to get my big girl panties back up and be the Momma Bear next to my little warrior. Actually both of them because my Ashlie girl has been right there alongside every step of the way. What amazing girls I have.

So if your child is walking/sitting wrong and the doctor says it’s normal or they will “grow out of it” or they are just flexible or “double-jointed”, do you and your child a favor. Go get another opinion. Preferably from a professional from Children’s Hospital because the home-town docs I’ve experienced have too much of a God complex to give parents any credit. Take care of you and your family first, screw their feelings because they sure don’t care after the fact of what you and your child will have to endure.

Peace out and many blessings until the next time.

Femural Rotations, New Setbacks, Learning Grace

They say be careful what you wish for. I used to compliment how well some of my friends handle challenging or painful situations. I’m learning my grace through my daughter with her incredible recovery. We’ve had a second week of not-so-great news. While her surgeries were a success with rotating her legs into proper alignment, her feet are now causing issues. I’ll have a video posted on my Facebook page (seriously thinking of getting all of this on YouTube) but I took pictures for you to see.

When she walks, they angle in excessively. It’s so severe that it’s causing misalignment in her knees, hips and back. We are waiting to see if she can get lifts in her shoes or if it’s another skeletal issue. I’m hoping it’s a muscle issue and with strengthening, can re-align properly. Of course if this goes on too long, it can also cause damage to her knees, hips and spine. So we are going to address this next week.

On a good note, she’s been swimming with me and her younger sister three days a week in addition to her physical therapy. It’s allowing her to use and strengthen those new muscles without the pain of her body weight on her leg breaks. She’s absolutely thrilled to be active for HOURS without the excessive pain. The memebership at the Recreation Center in our town has honestly been a blessings and side win is it’s helping me get back in shape too! Win/win!

She’s camping out in our front yard with her friend and sister tonight. She missed Mountain Man Rendezvous this year so they are creating a little one for her tonight. God bless wonderful souls that have the hearts of mountains.

I hope you have a blessed weekend and thanks for listening!

Femoral Rotations and New Information

This week has been a challenge. Madison is starting to learn balance and walk without her crutches. This is the first time watching her walk since her surgeries back in May and we’ve been a little concerned. Her waddle is that of an old lady or something that is not of this world. At first it’s a bit comical but as I was trying to help her figure out how to walk “normal”, we realized that her right hip is considerably higher than the other. Of course this involved an email into her surgeon to find out if this is normal.

We had to wait until Monday to find the answer and all of the information was rather interesting, to say the least. And the following information is for femoral twists only. I’ve heard the TYPE of surgeries she had are for MANY different problems/complications but what I’m going to go into now is related only to the femoral twists that these kiddos are born with.

So because her thigh bones were twisted, her hip flexors rotated her legs when she walked. This is how she learned how to walk, run, jump and play; her body not knowing that this wasn’t normal. Now that she’s had her legs corrected, her hip flexors are having to re-learn how to move and engage which is causing her waddle. She literally doesn’t know how to walk, ie. swing her hips, which is how we all normally walk.

This completely changes the dynamics of her entire body. If affects her lower legs, obviously her thighs and hips, her lower back, her shoulders. Yep, her entire body. Most of the time she’s pretty light-hearted about all of this and she’s a pretty amazing kid but we still have our breakdown moments when she’s tired, or hurting, or even tired of not being able to walk the way she used to. What’s also very interesting is that the breaks in her thighs are just now starting to cause her pain and discomfort. I had thought we were done with the wheelchair but we will be taking it with us on our out-of-town trip that’s coming up.

My biggest advice at this time is patience and listen to your kiddo. Their fears, frustrations, worry and pain are with them 24/7 which is so easy to forget when we climb into bed. We aren’t living with it so we don’t know it as intimately as our kiddos do. Sometimes I just pull her aside when no one else is around and I let her vent. She can swear, cry, yell, laugh, anything she wants to because this human of mine is dealing with a LOT. This world has a lot of sharp edges in it, I want to be the safe place for her to land every time.

I have quite a few videos of how she moves and walks if you would like to see over on my Facebook page. Unfortunately I can’t upload any videos here or I would. My Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/raeanne.hadley. Have a great weekend and keep up the amazing love and strength!

Femoral rotations and Post-Op Week Results

Yikes, I missed last week and I sincerely apologize. It’s been a tough week and I’m not going to sugar-coat it. Our trip to Children’s Hospital went anyway but smooth and the results weren’t what we had hoped or even anticipated. I’ve also been sick with the stomach flu and/or stress this past week so yeah, everything BUT Madison went on the back burner.

Our trip down was insane. The reservations we had at Extended Stay America got messed up, the guest clerk couldn’t care less that we didn’t have a place to stay and turned us back out onto the street. Despite all of that we went to the hospital sure that her post-op would be amazing. How wrong we were.

The doctor wasn’t there, which we knew before coming down. We were to see the PA. She had new x-rays taken of Madison’s legs. She wanted Madison to be off of her crutches by the time school starts in 5 weeks and wanted her walking better. This was all disappointing news because we thought she was doing great, including her physical therapist. Granted this was the first time we had ever me the PA, so I’m not sure if she is just gruff normally but she wasn’t encouraging at all and kind of crushed Madison’s pride. Madison thought she was doing great, as we all had.

Then the news from her x-rays. She has very aggressive bone growth around the breaks in her femurs. Some of the bone is lumpy and you can feel it on the outside of her thigh. If you look closely in the x-rays, you can see where it starts quite a few inches above the break, curves out (thickens) and then goes back down. Some is to be expected because her legs are healing but hers is “aggressive” and can cause problems if it continues. So we have to have more x-rays done in 6 weeks. At this point we don’t know if the severe pain she’s experiencing while walking and on her feet is just normal, bone-healing pain or if it’s the extra bone. Time will tell.

And on a last bummer note, while her feet are finally facing forward, she is walking towards the inside which is twisting her ankles. Her physical therapist is placing a call into her doctor to see if we can get orthotics to build up the inside of the bottom of her foot. If left as is, it can cause deterioration of her knees, hips and back.

On a good note, she was so determined after the comments from the PA that she ditched the wheelchair the day we got back home. She is only using crutches and trying so hard to walk without them even but she still has no balance. I see my daughter fighting so hard to get back to normal and I refuse to tell her she’s not doing enough. She’s a fighter and I won’t dampen that beautiful spirit of hers.

Until next week, I hope you take every day as a blessing and if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. I’ll help anyway I can, as I’m learning as I go! Peace, blessings and here’s to healing legs!

Essential Oils, Life Experience and Almost Dying

My life has really taken some interesting turns this past year. First and foremost I’d like to say that I’m so grateful to be here typing this as last December, my husband and I both believed that I wouldn’t be.
My close friends, family and fans knew that last April, we moved into my dream ranch to start a horse boarding facility. My writing was put on the back burner and my publishers knew I needed some time to get our ranch up and going. We worked from sun up to sundown. I’m happy to say that the ranch took off and the business was growing rapidly.
As fall approached, I knew I would need to get an outside job to help pay for expanding the ranch and feeding the numerous horses over the winter. I took a secretary position at one of the elementary schools and began planning expansion for the ranch. I loved the teachers and staff that I worked with and adored the principal. She was smart, decisive and very open minded. I was grateful when she allowed me to diffuse my essential oils to ward off any illnesses. Witchcraft is what my husband often teased me with.
Towards the end of September I developed a horrific ear infection. My girls often got them but I hadn’t had them for years. I figured because we had moved to a new town, being exposed to new germs (especially an elementary school) I was bound to get something. I started to sanitize everything, diligently diffused my oils and drank lots of orange juice for my vitamin C.
I knew I needed to find a doctor to start going to but the time was never right. I worked 7:30 to 4:00 pm then had to pick up my own girls after school. September turned to October and my ear infection developed into a severe sinus infection. I started taking oregano pills for my antibiotics, diffused my oils at school and started diffusing them at home while I slept. I was going to lick this but October has always been my celebration month. It’s my birthday month and the month I got married. My mother always comes down in October so my husband and I can escape and be kids for a few days. My illness would have to take a backseat. We decided to stay locally since I wasn’t feeling the best and stayed the night in a local hotel near a restaurant and bar that we could walk to. Our usual playful self was hindered by the keen awareness that I sounded like a pack-a-day smoker.
Still I pushed on. We had horses that had to be fed in the mornings, and again after school and stalls to clean. Plus Halloween was coming up, my most favorite holiday. The sinus infection had moved down into my chest but I just knew it was going to clear up. I’d behave better once Halloween night and trick-or-treating was done. So out and about we went for Halloween night. I should have known I would pay the price.
The next week I was barely able to speak and the pain in my chest from coughing was unbearable. I began to miss work and began to lose my strength. The day before Thanksgiving I spent three hours in Urgent Care being treated for bronchitis. Nebulizer treatments, steroid injections, antibiotics, cough suppressant, I was given it all to try and get my illness under control. After the break my principal pulled me into her office and we discussed what my plan should be.
I knew I was missing too much work and putting her in a tough situation but she never brought that up. Instead her concern was for my health and well being. She believed I was burning the candle and both ends and my physical health was in jeopardy. We agreed that my position at the school was probably not the best at this time and that I needed to get on top of my health. It was bittersweet saying goodbye to everyone I was starting to care for but I was truly scared that I was not getting better.
By the beginning of December, I had full blown pneumonia and I was told that I needed to be hospitalized or risk dying. Because I no longer had insurance through the school, I chose to pass at home. My husband quit his job to take care of the ranch, me and our beautiful girls. Neither one of us wanted them to find my body and there were many nights he didn’t sleep at all because he just knew I was going to take my last breath. I had no energy for anything other than what little sleep I could get. Every breath was excruciating and never deep enough. I felt like I had cracked every rib in my body. Light and noise hurt me on every level of my being. I would often lie there crying thinking of everything I was going to miss out on with my girls. Their first prom dance, graduation, when they graduated from college, getting married, having their first child. I grieved for my husband, knowing I was his best friend as he was mine. I prayed he would find love again.
Christmas came and went as did New Years. Every day was a struggle but as the days got a little longer, I began feeling a little stronger. I finally had enough strength to find a doctor and began seeing her for my pneumonia. She was amazing and we took baby steps with me seeing her every week. She made sure I had a nebulizer at home with instructions that I needed to use it 4-6 times a day. I had an inhaler, antibiotics, steroids and a cough suppressant at night that honestly kicked my ass and allowed me to get sleep. As I began to get healthier she began to run tests to try and see what may have caused me to get so sick. Heart monitors, chest x-rays, blood work, breathing tests, head CT’s, she ran them all to find out what exactly happened. Everything came back healthy and perfect and we were left scratching our heads. Stress. We decided the stress of the ranch, working, writing, taking too much on was the cause of my illness. We began to take baby steps to get me back 100%. In March I was strong enough to get another job, this one with the County of Montrose.
All summer I have gotten stronger, healthier and thrilled that I never did die. It’s hurt us financially and we will deal with the repercussions of it but I can hug my children and kiss my husband and that in itself is a blessing. As the one year anniversary approached I’ll admit that I became leery and worrisome. What if I got sick again? I don’t think that I could survive that this time. I warned the guys in my office that I was going to diffuse my oils early to start to ward off any illnesses. My girls were starting school again and bringing home all of those lovely germs. I hoped that they wouldn’t mind if I did. Being guys, they said they didn’t care and I knew they meant it. Hahahaha.
The next week I brought in my diffuser and began diffusing my beloved OnGuard, faithfully starting it each morning. I took my multivitamin every day and drank my emergenC as my doctor had instructed me. I felt the panic in my gut as I started getting sinus pressure and tightness in my chest. By the second week of September I had to use my inhaler. It was all happening again.
The guys began to tease me that my diffuser wasn’t doing its job and my husband made a comment that maybe it was my witches brew, that I shouldn’t be diffusing the oils anymore. I knew he had been terrified about losing me last winter but there was no way it could be my oils. It wasn’t until my co-worker pulled me aside and made a comment that everything hit home. He told me, “In all of the months you have worked here, not once have I seen you have to use your inhaler. You’ve been diffusing for one week and I’ve seen you use it more in the past couple of days than the past couple of months. I don’t think it’s good for you.”
Normally I would argue with them and I’ll admit I was a little defensive. I LOVE my essential oils. My owie blends, my face creams, my sleep and stress blends, they are my go-to. But I still remember the feeling of not wanting to go to sleep because I just knew I wasn’t going to wake up. I agreed that I would give it a week of no diffusing to see if I got better. So I cleaned out my machine and for a week, didn’t diffuse a drop.
The second day my lungs had loosened up and I only needed to use my inhaler once. By day three, I wasn’t using my inhaler at all and my sinus infection was gone. By the end of the week I had zero symptoms of any illness. I packed up my diffuser and brought it home.
NOW before all of the naysayers and defenders of essential oils jump all over this, I am NOT saying that you shouldn’t diffuse your oils. The only thing that I am saying is that for ME, for some reason, I had a reaction to them. Were they the reason I stayed so sick and almost died? I don’t know. I will never know because I’m never taking that risk again. It could have been JUST the pneumonia, it could have been a combination of the pneumonia AND the essential oils, it could have been JUST the oils. We will never know for me because I looked death in the face and while I won the war on it, it won the battle because I have never been so scared in my life.
I still use my oils. I have my topicals that I will probably ALWAYS use but I will never diffuse anything again unless it’s something my doctor prescribes. And maybe, just maybe, if you or a kiddo or someone you love has a respitory infection and they are NOT getting better, stop diffusing for a week, JUST TO SEE and rule out that those oils aren’t contributing towards it. Please.
Peace out and I’m so glad I’m still here! Love you all my Lovelies!

Perspective

I’ve been mulling this conversation over in my head for the past year. And what a year it’s been. But the subjects are building and if I wait any longer, it will turn into a novel and nobody will want to read it.

I’m reading so many posts anti-Trump/anti-Obama, women’s march/anti-women’s march, politically correct/anti-politically correct. I can go on. The subjects are endless and it seems like people are searching for anything to argue about. The one thing that I’ve noticed as I’ve sat back (well, most of the time) is that these subjects are black and white, defined lines. Nothing is monochrome or blurry. Is that accurate or true? I’m here to say in my opinion that I don’t think it is.

My entire life when I have encountered a person who has done a kindness on another, I have always told them, “Bless your heart.” And I’ve meant it. I have wished miracles and blessings upon them and their heart because they were so kind to another. As I’ve found out recently, that term doesn’t mean the same to me as it does to others. For awhile I struggled with not saying it because I didn’t want to offend anyone. Then I realized that how I say and mean it makes a huge difference. I say it with love, kindness and sincerity. It is never misconstrued as an insult. So I am back to blessing a kind person’s heart and soul. It feels good and right to me. But I never post it in a text or social media because without hearing the words, it could easily be twisted and taken completely out of context.

This presidential thing. Oy vey, are we in a mess. Again, black or white. I’d like to point out the monochrome I mentioned earlier. As a human being, I respect Obama and absolutely adore Michelle. She is graceful and classy. As a president, no, I didn’t like Obama. I didn’t respect the decisions he made as a president that affected the town I lived in, my husband’s job and healthcare. We lived in fear for eight years, wondering when we were going to lose everything.

I also don’t believe that everyone should enjoy the same benefits in life. My entire working life, which started at a very young life, I have struggled. I’ve put in 14-16 hour days, sometimes two or three jobs to get where I am at today. I’m still not where I want to be but I’m getting there. Why should I help pay someone else’s way, who is not my family, to live a lifestyle similar to mine while they choose to stay at home and do nothing? If you want cell phones, cars, eating at restaurants, a nice roof over your head then work for it. If you physically can’t (legitimately, not some excuse) then there are programs out there but they shouldn’t be paying for your Escalade, cell phones and designer sunglasses.

While Trump scares the bejimminies out of me, I also agree that there needs to be a change. We were not all created equal, hard work is a reality, life isn’t fair is truth. Things happen. Destroying property that isn’t your own shows how far the pendulum has swung in the direction of immaturity. Our laws have become so slack that you can break the law and not worry about being punished. Heck, with the right attorney you won’t even get a slap on the wrist. What happened to being held accountable for your actions?  Those who are breaking the law are blaming their actions on others. I didn’t realize we had raised a bunch of puppets. I have no problem with protesting. It’s how things get done, attention brought to the wrongs in our society. But when it’s done with hatred, violence and disrespect for others, I won’t participate. Even if I agree with you. Respect used to be earned, now it’s expected. If you can’t respect another person’s point of view and beliefs, how can they respect yours? You expect me to listen to your pain, your hurt but you won’t listen to mine? Life doesn’t work that way.

Which brings me to the latest women’s march. This was a tough one for me and I’ll admit, I didn’t handle it the best on my social media page. I “shared” a post which I mostly agreed with but I didn’t change it to share my tone/personality. This morning I saw another post attacking the post I and many other women had shared. I saw this woman’s point of view because she “spoke” with some respect. I deleted my post but I haven’t changed my opinion on the march. Since this is my blog, I can take the time to remove the emotion from my “voice” and try to explain my position respectfully.

Why I didn’t support the march. This other blogger summarized that the reason “I” (generalizing women who didn’t support this movement) is because we didn’t grow up with hardships, we didn’t struggle or suffer so we needed to be put in our place and have compassion for those who have. That is the post that at first, infuriated me but instead of lashing out on my social media page, I decided it was time to stop, calm myself and post on my own blog.

I am the epitome of everything this woman was talking about in her blog. I grew up in a household where verbal and physical abuse occurred. Money was a very precious commodity. Just yesterday I came across a letter from the Governor of Colorado and the Colorado Ambassadors of Music congratulating me on being chosen as a participant in an All-Colorado performance tour of Europe. My band teacher, Ms. Stork, had recommended me to the board and I had been chosen. 25 days traveling Europe and I couldn’t go because my parents couldn’t afford the airfare. This letter was dated Sept. 16, 1985. That’s how much I wanted to go and how painful it was that I couldn’t. I was so proud of myself.

I was also legally emancipated by sixteen. At fifteen I had been kicked out of my house and lived a short time with my best friend. I still call her parents Mom and Dad. I didn’t graduate high school. I dropped out four months before graduation because I was not only working full-time, but I was fighting with my mother, bouncing from friend’s house to friend’s house for a roof over my head. I didn’t graduate with my classmates and it’s the reason I refuse to go to class reunions. They earned it, I did not. I got my GED and continued struggling in life.

After working minimum wage jobs for five years, I decided I wanted a better life. I chose automotive. I took out student loans and was accepted into a technical college. What the hell was I thinking? A high school drop-out, a woman, going into a male dominated field. Talk about asking for torture. And I did suffer. I was discriminated from the get-go. And do you know the comment that made me the angriest came from a woman? At graduation after I walked across the stage to accept my diploma, a woman came up to me while I was with my family and stated; “You don’t look like a mechanic.” I turned and smiled sweetly and asked, “Well, what is an automotive mechanic supposed to look like?” The discrimination came from both sides but it hurt the most coming from other women. I dealt with women who wanted to talk to a man because they knew about cars. Of course I had the men who wanted to talk to a man because, well, they knew about engines.

Discrimination came from higher up too. I was told by one dealership owner that I would never become the service manager because I was a woman. He kept me as an assistant service manager for over a year, enjoying the benefits of the customer service awards I won for his dealership. And the ultimate discrimination? How about getting fired for having a baby. It wasn’t sugar coated, glossed over, put nicely. I was told straight up that I was fired because I took maternity leave. And in the state of Colorado, any business with less than twenty employees can let you go for any reason, legally. So yes, I’ve dealt with the discrimination and difference in pay for over fifteen years.

The great thing about America is I can choose a different path, a different life. So I did. I murdered my boss who fired me for taking maternity leave. Well, metaphorically I did. I took all of that anger and hatred and I wrote a book and killed him. Damn, it felt good too. And I decided I wouldn’t work in a repair facility anymore. I taught automotive classes at Colorado State University, gave lectures, wrote newspaper articles. I called out repair shops who tried to take advantage of women. I worked and created the kind of life I wanted to live.

I’ve also experienced rape. A horrific, life-altering experience to be sure. It’s the reason my husband and I make our girls take Tae Kwon Do, why they learned gun safety at a young age and taught to listen to their instincts. You never honestly know what’s in a person’s soul.

Now I could take all of these terrible experiences and blame my childhood, blame society, talk about how awful life is but I will be the last person who will do that. My life is wonderful and I am blessed beyond belief. There are times I break down in tears, grateful for the life I have. I refuse to dwell on the negatives. I look for the window that opens when the door shuts. If I can’t find the window, I break down the wall and make my own escape. I can do anything in this life that I want to because I believe it and I work for it. If I have to put in a twenty-hour day, I will do it. I don’t look outside of myself to make things happen because I know I have the power to do it.

The older I get, the more I realize that those who handle themselves with grace and respect get heard the most. To have an intelligent debate, showing respect for the other person’s experiences and opinions, will have greater weight than words spewed in hate and anger. While I will admit I have “lost it” sometimes on social media, giving into my strong emotions, I will often delete my comments or apologize. I am human, I do make mistakes.

I have worked and fought so hard to be where I am at. I have incredible friends, a husband who honestly respects and honors who I am, daughters who look up to me, ask my opinion, value my teachings. So I refuse to act in a manner that is disrespectful. Putting on vagina hats, spewing hateful words and then trashing the streets with signs and litter is not the way to be heard or taken seriously. My children asked why all of the women were wearing clown hats and because I’m honest with my girls, I explained to them what was happening and what those hats really were. Their words; “that’s stupid.”

So the entire purpose of this protest was lost on many who would’ve taken it seriously, believed in the same cause, experienced the same things. I want to be taken seriously. I did not feel that this was the way to accomplish that.

So to the blogger who tried to label me, tried to box me, I respectfully argue with your position. Life is not black or white. It’s filled with different shades of color. It’s what makes us unique, special. Please don’t speak for me because you haven’t walked my path, nor I you. I won’t tell the world who you are, I won’t paint you black or white. I won’t put a label on you because I have respect for you as a fellow human being. I would appreciate the same respect.

Society of black, white and extremes

I Facebook it, I Tweet, I’m beginning to Musical.ly, I see the world through cyber eyes. And the more I see, the more I realize that we are becoming a black or white society. If you hate this, then there is NO way there is anything good about it. If you like that, then there is NO way there is anything is bad about it. Whatever happened to the grays in life?

I live in a coal mining community. Have for the past 8 years. We moved from a tree hugger community. When we first moved up here, I informed my husband (yeah, never inform anyone ANYTHING because that will guarantee that they are going to do it!) that I NEVER wanted to be a coal miner’s wife. I knew nothing about coal mining except it was dangerous. Well I have been a coal miner’s wife for 5 years now. They are NOT a bunch of inbred, uneducated hicks like many believe. They are dedicated, hard-working, family and community minded souls. They are risking their lives every single day so that we have electricity, heat, power, your Xboxes and PlayStations. So when I hear about people bashing coal industry and how much it RUINS the land and how amazing solar power is, I get frustrated. So I posted on my Facebook page pictures of a surface mining operation in progress, the reclaimed land a few years later of that SAME mine and then one of a solar panel field, in which ALL life was decimated. My entire point was there is good AND bad aspects to EVERYTHING.

Another thing I read, I believe it was on MSN, is a group who is complaining about our youth. Our youth is self entitled, lazy, disrespectful and it’s ALL because parents coddled them as babies, spoiled them, never let them cry in their cribs. As a mother of two beautiful young ladies, I call bullshit on that. I NEVER let my girls cry in their cribs. When they needed me I was there. They didn’t have to cry themselves to sleep. My girls have everything they need, and quite a bit of what they want. The difference is my girls know that they need to work for things and continue working. They have A’s and B’s in school, volunteer when needed, will help a fellow friend who is down and is right out there repairing fencing and plow trucks in the cold and mud with the adults. Hhhmmmm, okay, so that theory was blown to hell.

Now the thing that is blowing up our Internet and news are the presidential candidates. Everything is black and white. IF you like this candidate, then you MUST be a terrorist, or capitalist, or extremist or …..it goes on. No one is willing to admit that there can be good AND bad in each candidate (heck, they are all politicians so we KNOW the bad is there, now to find the good) and society is quick to jump on the lynching bandwagon if you mention anything you MIGHT or MIGHT NOT like about a situation. I choose not to discuss politics. My founding fathers gave me my right to vote quietly, discreetly and peacefully, following my heart and soul, without having to be socially flogged or berated for my beliefs. I know that whoever is elected, there is going to be good AND bad and I pray that the good will outweigh the bad. I have my daughter’s futures to worry about.

How I’m going to handle things is TRY to practice tolerance. The big T word that so many people talk, preach and post about but so little actually act on. I’m different, unique, as are we all, so why am I going to jump on a judgmental bandwagon that only knows extremes? I’m not. JMO.

Remember, Life is meant to be fun; Enjoy the journey!

Children, Animals, Kryptonite and Antibiotics

Since my last blog, I’ve received quite a few comments and questions as to whether or not I am alright. It seems that my normally friendly, sensitive nature took a vacation and my blunt, less than kind comments really concerned a few people. So I’ve taken the past week to really reflect on what is going on.

I have always been an animal lover. Anyone who knew my in my childhood can attest to that and my current friends also are aware of my passion. It’s one of the reasons we have so many critters on our little ranch. Since I’ve had my own two, beautiful little girls, I’ve become aware of the wrongs done to children and in turn, become very passionate to their rights. Children and animals have no rights, are often treated as objects and with social media bringing it to the front, it’s hard for me to ignore it. So my blood boils and I become physically sick when I see abuse, blatant or otherwise. What fired me up that day was a person who was trying to argue as to why they had allowed the abuse to continue. For over four years! I don’t care if you felt sad, lost, waiting for God to make that decision. You were the adult, this soul depended on you to protect and take care of it. By allowing the abuse to continue, you allowed that soul to suffer. It honestly broke my heart and I publicly lashed out. My bad.

Along with this dangerous combination is the fact I have been very, very sick for the past two months. The amount of prescribed medication is mind-blowing and my days are scheduled around when I have to take pills. This is not an excuse, it’s a fact, but I do need to hold myself accountable for how it reacts with my body. As my family has told me, I am a crabby person on this medicine. This is noted and I will not forget.

I have been struggling with what is proper, how to get back to the kindness, how to fight for those who have no voices. I have heard that everyone has an opinion so you just need to keep yours to yourself because your children are watching and will model yours. Well, guess what. I don’t want my children to keep quiet. They were born to be heard, just as I was. I want them to stand up to injustices and abuse. I want them to say, “Oh, heck no! You cannot do that to me! It is not acceptable!” I want them to know that sometimes you have to make a stand. But I do agree that there are respectful ways to do it. Calling other people stupid is probably not a good way to do it. So while I will not apologize for feeling pain and hurt for a soul who was lost to something as horrid as abuse, I will promise to try to take a breath, go for a walk and think out my blog before I post it. I will try.
Have a blessed weekend and remember; Life is meant to be fun, enjoy the journey!

You Can’t Fix Stupid

A friend posted on Facebook this morning, “The smarter you get the less you speak”. I absolutely love this Arabic proverb and can completely relate to this. With social media sites and text messages replacing face to face interactions, I’m finding more and more people with less filters and less common sense. This last is mind boggling for me and what I once believed an ingrained, natural gene in the human species, I am now realizing that it must be taught. And now a days it’s not.

Everyone has an opinion, they are just like, well, the holes where our waste leaves. And it seems like everyone wants or has a desire to argue with anything. I could post on social media that we have a wonderful spring ahead of us and I guarantee that someone will post under it arguing the opposite. I’ve seen how a simple, helpful post has turned into a bashing, ugly argument platform for those who desire that negative interaction. Luckily I don’t have too many of those, as I choose my friends very carefully, but because I’m a public figure on social media, I still get a looney bin or two. Now I don’t mind an intelligent, legitimate debate. Debates are great and they expand your mind. My best friend up here has no qualms of offering her opinion but she explains her point of view, the reasons and facts that back it. She never attacks, insults or makes snide remarks. She tells it like it is. And because I don’t have a chip on my shoulder and am open to expanding my opinions and knowledge, I enjoy our conversations.

I’m finding that she is a dying breed. Too many people are posting intentionally shocking posts, speaking (or typing in this situation) without really re-reading what they are about to post. Just today I read a post of a person who I think was trying to offer a logical argument. I read and re-read the post this person typed and thought to myself, “Oh my gosh, did you even read what you just posted? All I could do was shake my head and scroll on. It’s called editing people. All great writers do it and now that the world has boiled society down to a bunch of writers interacting on the social media sites, I suggest more people do it. I encourage intelligent comments, posts and deep conversations. I do not support bashing, hate posts or ugly words at all. It’s uncalled for and shows lack of respect. Until then, I’m going to adopt the Arabic proverb. I’ll read social posts, I may like them, but if someone lacks common sense I’m just going to keep on scrolling. And I’ll remain silent because, well, you just can’t fix stupid.