Tag Archive | common sense

Femoral Rotations November

Yeah, the weekly thing just isn’t going to work. Kids are in school activities, Madison still has physical therapy 2-3 days per week and I’m still having to get my work done.

We spent the last couple of weeks getting fencing fixed so the horses had access to the barn and we had hay delivered. We still don’t have firewood in for winter but the truck broke down and was pretty costly to fix it. Will need to sell it before getting the half a cow in the freezer and wood in for winter.

Tomorrow marks the long awaited day for meeting with the ortho specialist coming in from Grand Junction. He will be the one who basically decides if he can make something for her to correct the rotation in her ankles. All of my hopes and prayers are on his saying yes. I’m trying to have faith that this doctor is as open and receptive as Dr. Rhodes has been.

There’s been lots of struggles and ups and downs. She has a popping in her bad hip but we aren’t having X-rays done at this time. Dr. Rhodes believes it’s an IT band that is rubbing and slipping off of her hip bone caused by the screw. She has to wait until May before they can remove the screws and the rods so basically she just has to deal with the pain. That’s super frustrating for me because it happens whenever she walks, goes up stairs, sleeps, moves, anything. She was finally released to ride her horse and we joyfully went out to our ponies and rode bareback; best way to get back in shape and core built up. I recorded it, of course, bawling with how wonderful it was to see her back on her beloved Chewbacca (the video is on my Facebook page) only to have the joy come to an abrupt end. The way her hips sit on her horse causes the screw to push into her hip bone which causes pain. A goal she had worked so hard for became something she can’t enjoy doing. We are going to try different saddles and hope that with the adjustment of her hips and the way she’s sitting, it will allow her to ride without so much pain.

New things that we found out. Sitting cross-legged is actually comfortable for her now. I was mortified and instantly pissed off when I found out that some elementary teachers tried to FORCE her to sit “criss-cross-applesauce” despite her saying it didn’t feel good. PEOPLE, FRIGGING LISTEN TO THE KIDS WHEN THEY SAY SOMETHING DOESN’T FEEL GOOD. I’m SO sick of adults MICRO-MANAGING KIDS! If they are sitting in a W shape and it’s comfortable to them then let them do it! YOU are NOT a doctor and there could be something majorly wrong! The more I’m researching this deformity the more common I’m finding it is. SO many kids having to go through this bullshit. Venting over.

I will say I’m grateful for all of my friends and support. For those of you going through this, hang in there. I know exactly how exhausting it is. Everyone on the outside looking in sees your child getting better, doing better but they aren’t there 24/7 when the swelling or the pain hits. The frustration your child feels when they can’t do something they used to do. New thing we just found out about. You know how Madison literally had to learn how to walk again? Her brain had to learn how to communicate with her new thigh muscles? Well guess what, it has to relearn how to run too. You would think the brain would click and go, “Oh yeah, I just opened up the communication lines to these new muscles to walk so it must be the same line for running.” NOPE. 5 months after surgery and she’s just now starting to learn to run. Her muscles on the outside of her thighs are trying to fire, not her new front thigh muscles. Can you imagine how frustrating that is? And all I can do is hold her when she cries.

So please hang in there. Be gentle with yourself, be super gentle with your kiddo. Lots of love, forgiveness and patience is needed. Love you all and peace out till the next time.

My Circus

It’s amazing how fast things can change. If you blink, you might miss it. Or you might be too focused on other’s issues and situations that you miss something miraculous in your own life.
I used to get caught up in other’s problems and focus on the negative but after my brush with death last year I’m really learning to put things in perspective. I’m focusing more on what is going on in my immediate life and less on my peripheral life. Surprisingly my stress is less and blessings are becoming more abundant.
We are becoming a world of changing our focus on more important things, like ourselves, and focusing more on other people’s lives. Whether it’s jealousy, trying to fix someone else’s problems, curiosity, anger, a sense of superiority over others, it tends to lead us down the wrong road and off of our path of blessings and abundance. It’s so easy to jump to the defense of the victim or weaker person but what we haven’t learned is that things that you read, watch and see on television and the internet is edited, twisted and filtered. All people have an agenda. All of us do and it’s not a bad thing. It’s how we use our agendas that can cause problems or do harm to others.
I won’t lie; it was super easy to get caught up in all of the drama that the media has been trumping up the past few years. I became angry at everyone and everything that didn’t agree with me. I jumped to conclusions and mentally tried and condemned those whose agendas didn’t line up with mine. Low and behold, my anger took over my life, I looked at everyone suspiciously and wondered what they truly wanted and my blessings and miracles started disappearing. My family noticed the change in my personality and I knew I was unhappy all of the time. Change had to happen and it started with me.
I stopped watching and reading the news, I eliminated quite a few people off of my social media pages; I began to meditate on the beautiful things in my life instead of watching everyone else’s lives. I created tunnel vision goggles and what I focused on had rainbows and unicorns. The blessings and miracles began to appear again and I am much happier than what I was.
Do I slip? Heck yes. Different worldly situations come up that I don’t agree with and recently I had someone who I considered a friend hurt me very badly. I was filled with anger and hurt and I wallowed and focused on that for a couple of days. Low and behold my rainbows disappeared. I pulled my big girl panties up, let the situation go and concentrated back on my own life, my own circus, my own monkeys. My rainbows are coming back and my unicorns are grazing happily in my field.
It’s interesting to note that the happier I am, the less misery I see and am exposed to. I’m able to smile at strangers more and spread kindness just outside my bubble. The happier I am, the larger my bubble grows and the more I’m able to spread the kindness. Go figure.
Remember, life is meant to be fun; enjoy the journey…YOUR journey and don’t worry the path another is taking.IMG_3604

Perspective

I’ve been mulling this conversation over in my head for the past year. And what a year it’s been. But the subjects are building and if I wait any longer, it will turn into a novel and nobody will want to read it.

I’m reading so many posts anti-Trump/anti-Obama, women’s march/anti-women’s march, politically correct/anti-politically correct. I can go on. The subjects are endless and it seems like people are searching for anything to argue about. The one thing that I’ve noticed as I’ve sat back (well, most of the time) is that these subjects are black and white, defined lines. Nothing is monochrome or blurry. Is that accurate or true? I’m here to say in my opinion that I don’t think it is.

My entire life when I have encountered a person who has done a kindness on another, I have always told them, “Bless your heart.” And I’ve meant it. I have wished miracles and blessings upon them and their heart because they were so kind to another. As I’ve found out recently, that term doesn’t mean the same to me as it does to others. For awhile I struggled with not saying it because I didn’t want to offend anyone. Then I realized that how I say and mean it makes a huge difference. I say it with love, kindness and sincerity. It is never misconstrued as an insult. So I am back to blessing a kind person’s heart and soul. It feels good and right to me. But I never post it in a text or social media because without hearing the words, it could easily be twisted and taken completely out of context.

This presidential thing. Oy vey, are we in a mess. Again, black or white. I’d like to point out the monochrome I mentioned earlier. As a human being, I respect Obama and absolutely adore Michelle. She is graceful and classy. As a president, no, I didn’t like Obama. I didn’t respect the decisions he made as a president that affected the town I lived in, my husband’s job and healthcare. We lived in fear for eight years, wondering when we were going to lose everything.

I also don’t believe that everyone should enjoy the same benefits in life. My entire working life, which started at a very young life, I have struggled. I’ve put in 14-16 hour days, sometimes two or three jobs to get where I am at today. I’m still not where I want to be but I’m getting there. Why should I help pay someone else’s way, who is not my family, to live a lifestyle similar to mine while they choose to stay at home and do nothing? If you want cell phones, cars, eating at restaurants, a nice roof over your head then work for it. If you physically can’t (legitimately, not some excuse) then there are programs out there but they shouldn’t be paying for your Escalade, cell phones and designer sunglasses.

While Trump scares the bejimminies out of me, I also agree that there needs to be a change. We were not all created equal, hard work is a reality, life isn’t fair is truth. Things happen. Destroying property that isn’t your own shows how far the pendulum has swung in the direction of immaturity. Our laws have become so slack that you can break the law and not worry about being punished. Heck, with the right attorney you won’t even get a slap on the wrist. What happened to being held accountable for your actions?  Those who are breaking the law are blaming their actions on others. I didn’t realize we had raised a bunch of puppets. I have no problem with protesting. It’s how things get done, attention brought to the wrongs in our society. But when it’s done with hatred, violence and disrespect for others, I won’t participate. Even if I agree with you. Respect used to be earned, now it’s expected. If you can’t respect another person’s point of view and beliefs, how can they respect yours? You expect me to listen to your pain, your hurt but you won’t listen to mine? Life doesn’t work that way.

Which brings me to the latest women’s march. This was a tough one for me and I’ll admit, I didn’t handle it the best on my social media page. I “shared” a post which I mostly agreed with but I didn’t change it to share my tone/personality. This morning I saw another post attacking the post I and many other women had shared. I saw this woman’s point of view because she “spoke” with some respect. I deleted my post but I haven’t changed my opinion on the march. Since this is my blog, I can take the time to remove the emotion from my “voice” and try to explain my position respectfully.

Why I didn’t support the march. This other blogger summarized that the reason “I” (generalizing women who didn’t support this movement) is because we didn’t grow up with hardships, we didn’t struggle or suffer so we needed to be put in our place and have compassion for those who have. That is the post that at first, infuriated me but instead of lashing out on my social media page, I decided it was time to stop, calm myself and post on my own blog.

I am the epitome of everything this woman was talking about in her blog. I grew up in a household where verbal and physical abuse occurred. Money was a very precious commodity. Just yesterday I came across a letter from the Governor of Colorado and the Colorado Ambassadors of Music congratulating me on being chosen as a participant in an All-Colorado performance tour of Europe. My band teacher, Ms. Stork, had recommended me to the board and I had been chosen. 25 days traveling Europe and I couldn’t go because my parents couldn’t afford the airfare. This letter was dated Sept. 16, 1985. That’s how much I wanted to go and how painful it was that I couldn’t. I was so proud of myself.

I was also legally emancipated by sixteen. At fifteen I had been kicked out of my house and lived a short time with my best friend. I still call her parents Mom and Dad. I didn’t graduate high school. I dropped out four months before graduation because I was not only working full-time, but I was fighting with my mother, bouncing from friend’s house to friend’s house for a roof over my head. I didn’t graduate with my classmates and it’s the reason I refuse to go to class reunions. They earned it, I did not. I got my GED and continued struggling in life.

After working minimum wage jobs for five years, I decided I wanted a better life. I chose automotive. I took out student loans and was accepted into a technical college. What the hell was I thinking? A high school drop-out, a woman, going into a male dominated field. Talk about asking for torture. And I did suffer. I was discriminated from the get-go. And do you know the comment that made me the angriest came from a woman? At graduation after I walked across the stage to accept my diploma, a woman came up to me while I was with my family and stated; “You don’t look like a mechanic.” I turned and smiled sweetly and asked, “Well, what is an automotive mechanic supposed to look like?” The discrimination came from both sides but it hurt the most coming from other women. I dealt with women who wanted to talk to a man because they knew about cars. Of course I had the men who wanted to talk to a man because, well, they knew about engines.

Discrimination came from higher up too. I was told by one dealership owner that I would never become the service manager because I was a woman. He kept me as an assistant service manager for over a year, enjoying the benefits of the customer service awards I won for his dealership. And the ultimate discrimination? How about getting fired for having a baby. It wasn’t sugar coated, glossed over, put nicely. I was told straight up that I was fired because I took maternity leave. And in the state of Colorado, any business with less than twenty employees can let you go for any reason, legally. So yes, I’ve dealt with the discrimination and difference in pay for over fifteen years.

The great thing about America is I can choose a different path, a different life. So I did. I murdered my boss who fired me for taking maternity leave. Well, metaphorically I did. I took all of that anger and hatred and I wrote a book and killed him. Damn, it felt good too. And I decided I wouldn’t work in a repair facility anymore. I taught automotive classes at Colorado State University, gave lectures, wrote newspaper articles. I called out repair shops who tried to take advantage of women. I worked and created the kind of life I wanted to live.

I’ve also experienced rape. A horrific, life-altering experience to be sure. It’s the reason my husband and I make our girls take Tae Kwon Do, why they learned gun safety at a young age and taught to listen to their instincts. You never honestly know what’s in a person’s soul.

Now I could take all of these terrible experiences and blame my childhood, blame society, talk about how awful life is but I will be the last person who will do that. My life is wonderful and I am blessed beyond belief. There are times I break down in tears, grateful for the life I have. I refuse to dwell on the negatives. I look for the window that opens when the door shuts. If I can’t find the window, I break down the wall and make my own escape. I can do anything in this life that I want to because I believe it and I work for it. If I have to put in a twenty-hour day, I will do it. I don’t look outside of myself to make things happen because I know I have the power to do it.

The older I get, the more I realize that those who handle themselves with grace and respect get heard the most. To have an intelligent debate, showing respect for the other person’s experiences and opinions, will have greater weight than words spewed in hate and anger. While I will admit I have “lost it” sometimes on social media, giving into my strong emotions, I will often delete my comments or apologize. I am human, I do make mistakes.

I have worked and fought so hard to be where I am at. I have incredible friends, a husband who honestly respects and honors who I am, daughters who look up to me, ask my opinion, value my teachings. So I refuse to act in a manner that is disrespectful. Putting on vagina hats, spewing hateful words and then trashing the streets with signs and litter is not the way to be heard or taken seriously. My children asked why all of the women were wearing clown hats and because I’m honest with my girls, I explained to them what was happening and what those hats really were. Their words; “that’s stupid.”

So the entire purpose of this protest was lost on many who would’ve taken it seriously, believed in the same cause, experienced the same things. I want to be taken seriously. I did not feel that this was the way to accomplish that.

So to the blogger who tried to label me, tried to box me, I respectfully argue with your position. Life is not black or white. It’s filled with different shades of color. It’s what makes us unique, special. Please don’t speak for me because you haven’t walked my path, nor I you. I won’t tell the world who you are, I won’t paint you black or white. I won’t put a label on you because I have respect for you as a fellow human being. I would appreciate the same respect.

You Can’t Fix Stupid

A friend posted on Facebook this morning, “The smarter you get the less you speak”. I absolutely love this Arabic proverb and can completely relate to this. With social media sites and text messages replacing face to face interactions, I’m finding more and more people with less filters and less common sense. This last is mind boggling for me and what I once believed an ingrained, natural gene in the human species, I am now realizing that it must be taught. And now a days it’s not.

Everyone has an opinion, they are just like, well, the holes where our waste leaves. And it seems like everyone wants or has a desire to argue with anything. I could post on social media that we have a wonderful spring ahead of us and I guarantee that someone will post under it arguing the opposite. I’ve seen how a simple, helpful post has turned into a bashing, ugly argument platform for those who desire that negative interaction. Luckily I don’t have too many of those, as I choose my friends very carefully, but because I’m a public figure on social media, I still get a looney bin or two. Now I don’t mind an intelligent, legitimate debate. Debates are great and they expand your mind. My best friend up here has no qualms of offering her opinion but she explains her point of view, the reasons and facts that back it. She never attacks, insults or makes snide remarks. She tells it like it is. And because I don’t have a chip on my shoulder and am open to expanding my opinions and knowledge, I enjoy our conversations.

I’m finding that she is a dying breed. Too many people are posting intentionally shocking posts, speaking (or typing in this situation) without really re-reading what they are about to post. Just today I read a post of a person who I think was trying to offer a logical argument. I read and re-read the post this person typed and thought to myself, “Oh my gosh, did you even read what you just posted? All I could do was shake my head and scroll on. It’s called editing people. All great writers do it and now that the world has boiled society down to a bunch of writers interacting on the social media sites, I suggest more people do it. I encourage intelligent comments, posts and deep conversations. I do not support bashing, hate posts or ugly words at all. It’s uncalled for and shows lack of respect. Until then, I’m going to adopt the Arabic proverb. I’ll read social posts, I may like them, but if someone lacks common sense I’m just going to keep on scrolling. And I’ll remain silent because, well, you just can’t fix stupid.