When the #MeToo movement began, it was to bring attention to women who were being abused/raped/tortured by men and forcing to keep quiet. It was a movement to empower women and bring those guilty men to justice; to pay for their crimes. It was supposed to help women, punish those who were guilty but as someone who actually learns from the past, I didn’t jump on board. I sat back and watched knowing that the pendulum that swings in this world was going to swing too far. And it did.
But now the pendulum has swung so far that it’s affecting my life. A Cleveland, Ohio radio station has pulled the classic holiday song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” from the airwaves because the #MeToo has complained that it is offensive. When is this going to stop? There are so many songs out there that can be labeled offensive but this one was pulled. So now I’m involved in a movement that I swore I was never going to get involved in, that I’ve never commented on. What gives me the right? Well, here we go.
I was raped when I was younger. Raped in my own fucking house, thank you very much. I couldn’t understand why or how this happened to me. I wasn’t a bad person. Years of wondering what I did wrong, how I could’ve done more to prevent it led to my suicide attempt that landed me two days in the hospital. Still I didn’t tell anyone because I was ashamed. I stuffed it all down until I hated myself so much I finally broke down and told my Mom. We sat in the kitchen and cried and not once did she blame me or tell me it was my fault. I never thought I would embrace those words as much as I did. She didn’t hate me or find me disgusting like I found myself.
So for years I went through counseling. Dealing with the demons that I had created, making them bigger than the man who hurt me. I started to heal, though I would always carry the scars. Finally found a man who loved me, was patient with me even though for the first five years of our marriage, he couldn’t touch me in certain spots because of what had happened. But he never gave up on me, never stopped loving me, never stopped respecting me. And every year for the past sixteen years, he has sang me that song, courting me, desiring me, letting me know that he still wants to spend every minute he can with me. And now the #MeToo movement is making that song dirty? Fuck you. There are a lot of things I dislike in this world but I choose to look the other way because I know that there are other people in this world that find joy in them. And since I’m sharing this world with my brothers and sisters, I want them to be as happy as I am.
So yes, I have the right to say this is wrong. I have the right to say stop it now. It’s turning into a movement that is NOT helping as many as it should and even innocent men are getting accused because of this movement but that’s a post for another time. As far as I’m concerned, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is a beautiful song that my husband sings to me to let me know he still wants to spend every second we have together, with me.