The past four weeks of my life have been some of the most taxing days I have had in my life. Not only have there been medical emergencies within my immediate family but also my extended. There have been challenges with my job, Steve’s job and also our upcoming move. Taken individually or even a couple at a time, these challenges would be manageable without a second thought but having them landing with a splat into my life within 30 days has thrown me for a loop. I have been sad, confused and angry at the world, at God, at the Universe for bringing these things into my life. All of these emotions are not normal for me, having been nicknamed Miss Suzie Sunshine because of my easy laughter, sense of humor and optimistic outlook. I’ve struggled with these unfamiliar emotions and even began to wonder if I was losing my mind or going insane. Unable to take the pressure anymore, I confided in my best friend who also happens to be my husband. His words were so simple and supportive that I wished that I would have talked with him sooner.
He told me that In order to take care of everything else, I need to take care of myself first. If my body AND soul are not nurtured, how can I have the energy to take care of others? He took care of our beautiful daughters Friday and Saturday night and for the first time since September, I was able to write and work on my novel. I cannot express how healing, fulfilling and soothing writing is for me and I hadn’t realized how starved I had been for my passion until I was able to spend those two nights doing what I love so much. My thoughts feel clearer than they have the past four weeks and my soul feels re-energized. Steve and I have made some tough decisions that will be coming up and I know some people will be disappointed but I need to re-prioritize that things that matter most in my life and my writing is definitely one of them.
This experience has also shown me that I haven’t been depending on enough people to help me out. I try to be superwoman when I need to stop and ask for help, be it my husband, my family, my friends or God. We still have some challenges coming up the next couple of months but I will be sure to take the time to write, to ask for help and to rejoice in other’s joys.
I want to thank the Universe, thank God, for reminding me what I had temporarily forgotten, that life is meant to be fun, I need to enjoy the journey.